I have found that even the beginning of this journey has been hard and a struggle. I guess that all the hardships of living a life untrue to the soul has prepared me for this journey, but I really thought it would be easier somehow....
After I first found out that I was not crazy or perverted, that I had a solvable problem, I lit up like firecrackers. I had always thought I was "gay" as I liked women. Society has to label you, and at times I accepted the label, I knew no different. Different I was, but not in a way I thought about. I never dated gay women, I didn't hang with gays, my whole life revolved around the "straight" community I thought of myself as a guy, but no one else did, and I learned to live with it.... or so I thought.
Tuesday May 6, 1997, one month before my 43rd birthday, while at a therapist to discover why I led such a self destructive (not suicidal) life, I found out there was a name for what ailed me ... Gender dysphoria. The whole world came to a halt as I took this in. I was not "gay", I was not perverted, I was not a going to live a lie anymore, I had a future, I was not alone, I was not alone.
The journey I had longed for all my life, the feeling of wholeness, the feeling of purpose, the feeling of a future. Everything in my past fit, the puzzle was nearly done and the end was in sight.
To find out the rest of the journey, click on the months as they stretch out in the most fantastic future I could imagine...
1997 may june july aug sept oct nov dec
1998 - jan feb /mar apr /may june/july aug/sept oct nov dec
1999 - jan/feb mar/apr may june
here's my chronicle of taking Testosterone
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